ohhhh beer

Okay. I am trying very, very hard to be a good (or at least consistent) blogger.

Right now I'm drinking a beer (I don't know if I've ever bought cans of beer for home before) and eating a hummus and stuff sandwich and getting addicted to lavalife all over again. Except not. And I will undoubtedly not follow through on any e-flirting... so... I'm being rude I guess. Sometimes we all need a little ego boost.

I worked today at Skydome, it was good. I was in an exceptionally good customer service mood. Well, I mean, I made fun of every customer in every different way and they found that charming and tipped me well. Yeah.
I quit that catering job! It felt like a load off. I love loads off. They wanted me to work until 2 in the morning a bunch next week. They weren't going to pay me enough to merit that sort of time commitment. I'm too picky. The gods are totally going to smite me now and I'm going to end up jobless and on the street. Whatever, all the more time for partying I guess.
I feel bad because SarahB got me that job but she quit at Skydome, so I don't feel as bad as maybe I should. What can I say? I just wasn't feeling it.

We did end up MCDA-meeting with Andrew. And we did work on beats/discuss plans. It was good. We brainstormed for our new hit "Ninja". It's very very good. Any song that contains the lyric "Pulled his sword from my gash" is a very very good song.

Yesterday I worked at ACC. I'm getting used to working there all the time and next month is when I will start getting no shifts at all. Hmmm. It's such good money.

I went out for a beer with SC after work. I don't know why he amuses me so much, but he does. He's sort of awkward and nice and secretly a bad person. I love beer. I love beer so much. It's like the only think I ever want to drink. No juice, no soymilk. Only beer beer beer. I hope that SC does start a brewery so that he can give me beeeeer.

Hmmm. I'm wondering if I should go to Montreal next weekend. That would probably be a time and stuff. I miss Chala oh-so badly. But for reals. I keep thinking there's someone I need to call and then I realise it's just Chala and David missing from my life. Sigh Sigh x 100.

Tonight is Nuit Blanche. Last night was extreme, I'm hoping tonight will be too. Nuit Blanche is an all night arts festival with different installations and exhibits and activities and parties. I'm about to go have a nap in order to prepare, gather my resources, ready for all night P.A.T (Party All the Time).
I really wish I didn't have to work tomorrow at 11am. Boo.

I've made a couple of minor (major to me) break-throughs on Impunity Jane. I love this show. I would so totally watch this show even if it wasn't my brainchild and completely about me. I just need to sit down and write it. It's not going to be done by the end of this week exactly... but maybe by the middle of next? Hopefully? Ugh! Just imagine though, seriously.

It's a perfect writing day. It's cold out and grey and it keeps mist-raining. October is definitely on its way. Hallowe'en almost. I've not done anything for Hallowe'en in probably three or four years. I want to party hard this year.

I had brunch with Ali at Aunties this morning. Mmmhmm. Oh omelette. Ali had been in Europe for the past six weeks. I want to go to Europe too sometime. Really. To England and Scotland especially. And Ireland. And France. Yeah, Paris.
So we caught up and related and stuff. And talked about boys. And talked about acting. And ate too much. It was pretty fun. I wish Aunties was free and I could have brunch there every day. I probably wouldn't need to eat besides that one meal a day...

Last night I worked at ACC. It's ridiculous there. The pay, I mean. It's really very good. I have a hard time wanting to go to any other job. Ever. Because I don't get paid enough.
It was a pretty short shift as well and easy. It's so easy. Ugh. I wish I could get all the shifts there.

This afternoon I avoided writing. I knitted and watched TV and worked on Christmas. And then I went Christmas shopping. Stocked up on wrapping/decorating supplies. Hmm if only I had something to wrap/decorate. Soon, hopefully. I wonder what people want for Christmas...

I want to get my show finished by the end of this week. By which I mean the pilot. I would love to have rough draft of the pilot in my hands. 44 pages at least. I don't even care if it sucks I just want to write everything that's supposed to happen, get everything out on paper so that I can really start refining and editing and making it marketable...
Oh god I'd like this show so much. Like I can't even tell you, but you can probably imagine.

MCDA-meet tonight. Fingers crossed. SarahB and I are meeting with Andrew to see if he'll be a good fit for beat-producing for us. Exciting! Imagine, we might actually have actual songs soon. Very, very hot. Scorching, even.

I'm not quite too old to play 16. Right?

I started a new job last night. On the 27th floor of a downtown skyrise. Views out onto the lake. Doing catering for functions and events there with SarahB. It was supposed to be a three-hour unpaid training shift. I don't think I have ever actually stayed and worked a job that had an unpaid training period, but I have definitely done a couple of them. I've never heard of that happening in Saskatoon. But they ended up needing me for the whole night so SarahB talked to the boss and I'll get paid for the whole shift. In theory. I like that theory. I like money.
The job was alright. It wasn't hard or anything, but it was annoying in places. I'm also not a very good server, which I didn't bother to mention to them. But I'm bad with wine and clearing especially. And bad with manners and etiquette, which is maybe why I work in sports arenas and not fine dining. I don't like being bad at jobs.

I don't mean to jinx it, but it looks like I'll actually be okay for jobs this winter. How fantastic would that be? It probably means that I won't come home for the month of December, but I will definitely be back for two weeks at least. And two non-working weeks would probably be better than a working-month.

I've been feeling ill. My insides have stopped working again. I was hearing on The View that gluten and dairy have been linked to Autism. Weird. I wonder if I have gluten issues. I definitely have dairy issues that I ignore.
The best part of the catering job was the extreme amount of food I brought home with me. It was intense all the stuff they were throwing out. And how they were pushing us to eat it/take it. It lead to me eating way too much and then feeling gross, but it's still great. I brought home a buttload and cookies and veges and cheese (goat's cheese! havarti! brie!).

SarahB and I went out afterwards for a pint and to try and do some creative work. We ended up spending the evening discussing my TV show, still tentatively titled Impunity Jane. Looks like SarahB might be extremely helpful with it. She wants to work in television/film but doesn't have that much of an interest in writing... we might be able to work it out. She good at Getting Things Done. And I am not.

Yeah I got cable TV. Whatever. It's hot. Except now I just want more and more channels. I'm thinking Much and MTV and Movie Network and IFC need to come into my life. Especially since I want to pitch my show to Movie Network. So bad. Or Showcase maybe. Hmm.
Time-shifting is amazing. I got home at midnight last night and still got to watch the new episode of House.
Um, House without his team is just stupid though. No seriously. Those actors must have been so pissed to lose their jobs. I'm not giving up on him yet though.

Also, I watched Gossip Girl. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. OKAY FINE I LOVE IT I WANT TO WATCH IT EVERY DAY.
Shit. There are just too many babes. It is not my fault. Any TV show with babes (even if they are a little young) is addictive. I just like to look at them. And Penn Badgley??? I'm sorry but goddammit.
I love the world of TV, where you can play a college student and then jump back and play an 11th grader (although who the hell even knows what grade they're in - they never seem to attend class. Ever).

My show is probably going to be successful on account of just how many babes there are going to be. Babes for every taste. Fuck I'm excited for the casting of that OMG (or as I like to call it - Finding My New Boyfriend(s)).

Bam!

Randomly I got a home phone. That's bizarre. When they were coming to install my cable they offered me a home phone free for three months, no contract. Just $4 or something for something something. So whatevers, I hit that. I'm really enjoying it, it's such a novelty. I hooked up my old rotary to it. Awesome.

ACC again tonight. Hockey? Who knows even? Hopefully something where I make all the money. I'm trying to work on the show to send to SarahB.
It's do or give up time for this show. If it doesn't get made right away then I won't be able to play the role. And the damn show's not getting made without me starring in it.

I need a new sensation

I don't have patience for sitting down and writing.

When I'm out I can't wait to get home to get started on all my creative businesses, but then, when I'm actually here, all I want to do is lie down. Luckily I'm getting cable television. That won't be the worst thing for me, ever. Not at all.

My house is messy again and I can't work in here. I want to get rid of everything. There is way, way too much stuff. Stuff I never use. I'm going to get rid of it. I wish I could. I wish I wasn't a packrat. I wish I had organisational instincts. Hmm.

In the past couple of days I've been feeling fine until I leave the house. Then I am head-ached or nauseous or dizzy or all the above. I think it may be the smog. And riding my bike through excessively heavy traffic. Or my hypochondria.

I've been working pretty much every day. Which I need. I really don't mind working every day as long as it's short shifts where I make a lot of money.
I worked a couple of times at ACC last week. I wish I could get more shifts there. I was talking to people though and they said I'd be lucky to get 3 or 4 shifts a month. What's the point of even having the damn job, then?
I got to work the Beastie Boys concert. I wish I'd been able to stick around and watch more of it, but I had my own party to get to.

It was the launch party for Grand Analog's video (that I'm in) on Friday. With food and booze and a bit of dancing. A bunch of friends came and I was glad. The video looks amazing. It should be up soon, and then I'll post it. The song is pretty great as well, I really hope it does go into high rotation on Much, and then Grand Analog becomes really famous and then he does a rap for MCDA and then MCDA becomes famous too... yeah. Probably.
I hung out with Andrew after the party. He is still the funniest person I know. And still willing to make beats for MCDA. We should get on that.

I didn't leave the house on Saturday. It was my first day off in too long, so, you know. I've been way too social lately and I need to take more breaks and set more boundaries.
Babes are getting me down again and I think I need to go on a for-real babe break. Except you know I won't.
Maybe just no babes I've already tried.
Tried it - it didn't work - I'll try it again.
That's how I seem to roll.
I'm an idiot.
I got a lot of knitting done.

I've been spending a lot of time with Sarahb still. Very party all the time. Last night I went and met her and co. at the Manifesto hiphop show in the middle of downtown and we had a bit of a shake-down dance-party which seemed to amused fellow audience members. Then we bike-rode girl-gang style down Queen and I got checked out by some babes in a BMW convertible, so Sarahb chased them down and chatted them up. We were going to go hang with them... but then we didn't. We went to the Hideout instead and ate and drank. I think some guy was taking pictures of me with his camera phone. Camera phones are so ridiculously creepy. It's hard to call someone on being a creep when you can't tell if that's what he's actually doing.
After hideout Sarahb and I went to Teatro to visit SarahJane and Sandra. We got babe-advice from them. It was pretty funny. I also ate a lot of the peach-almond crisp that Sandra made. So good.

I'm thinking of, instead of getting my zines in stores as they are now, doing a collection of the best bits from the last five issues. And editing the poetry. And then selling them for $2 or so. Hmm?

Apparently one of the MTV commercials I did hits today. Wow. I hope that I get to see it soon!

I haven't done anything lately or even had any exciting auditions. But it turns out Sarahb has a camcorder, so... I'm going to be allllll over YouTube (and also XTube OBVIOUSLY) in the very near future. Even if it's just me talking about babes.

Nope. I am just not good at blogging

And now it's been far, far too long.

Things I did on my trip:

- Had a 4.5 hour stopover in Winnipeg. I wanted to punch people. Instead I got a little tipsy in the airport bar by myself.

- Attended/photographed my mother's 60th birthday party (that's old). Sooo much fam. My uncle and his four daughters and three grandkids came down, plus all the regular fam. Most of my mother's friends stopped by, lots of good food, wine (I made sangria!)

- Went to Amigos and visited with some peeps. Mostly Ellen, Fraser, Alisin, R.Po, and GillTreen. I felt out of place but it was still alright.

- Went to the lake with my mum. It was so nice out. The land was gorgeous. If I'd never moved away I'd never have appreciated the prairie like I do now. Steve-Dave came and hung out on the beach one of the days and we drank beer (Rickard's White, so good) and did crosswords. We went to the Silver Sword and Chalice in Hafford again. It was awkward and ridiculous. Places like that are much better to talk about than they are to actually visit. Mum and I went out to the old Ukrainian Church and sang Christmas carols. I climbed a hay bale and sat in some barley fields.

- Had delicious veggie burgers with Ellen at the Yard. So good. Both the talk and the food. We discussed the We Are Many Festival, which looks really promising. Maybe it will actually get people moving in an activistic direction. Maybe even me...

- Went to Stardust with SteveDave. Two thumbs up. I love epic fantasy. I love babes. I love Robert DeNiro in this movie.

- Had grilled cheeses with Const and Steve. We were very funny. We went to see Superbad. It was very funny and Martha was very good and I was very jealous.

- Went to the livingroom twice. Was disappointed both times. But hanging out with Steph was nice.

- Knitted. I don't know why I was so into this for a couple of days there, it hasn't stuck since getting back.

- Related to my brother. Well, a bit, anyway.

- Had dinners with the fam. A decade later and still I don't know how to relate how awful I feel about being vegetarian around them.

- Saw Ethan and Rachel. I like those babies a lot. Even though they definitely aren't babies anymore. I think Ethan's quite funny and clever. I said to Rachel "What's up dog?" Rachel said "Woof!"

.

Other things I have done since then:

- Worked an awful lot. An awful lot. It's good though. I do like skydome. I never dread going and since I've started drinking coffee like water, I'm pretty fun.

- Went to V Fest with Christopher Dale The Little Whale. He's one of my favourites from college. He lives in Oshawa these days so I never see him. He's moving back though. I did love seeing Bjork and getting free things, but I don't think giant outdoor music festivals are for me. Too many crowds and idiots. And I wish that I'd seen K-os and M.I.A.

- Hung out with Sarahb a lot. I don't know how I survived the summer without her... if anyone embodies the spirit of Party All The Time, it's her. She's just so good at it. And up for going anywhere/partying with anyone. Low standards, that's the ticket!

- Partied all the time. Went to an awkward house party with Sarahb and brought SC along with me on account of he was drinking alone. And because I like him. I'm glad he came because at least we got to catch up and then the party wasn't a total waste.

- Went out til 4 a.m. the other night, the bars are licensed later during film fest. It's a terrible idea. Everyone was way too drunk and gropey and gross. I had my crotch grabbed on the dance floor. And not by anyone I knew. Gross.

- Had dinner and stuff with Miranda. I haven't grown tired of her. I'm still really glad that she's sticking around this year.

- Went to a Weather Station and Nick Rose show. I love when they play together. I get to see my two most favourites in one night. I hung out mostly with Tam's mum, who is lovely. She made me eat a lot of nachos and says she'll sell my magazines in her art store if I want. ("And when you're ready I know some publishers...") Very sweet.

- Last night I went to Browning's fundraiser for this TV show I'm doing a voice for. I went after work and missed most of the show but I saw some comedy shorts and met some comedians and "networked" (not really). Mostly just hung out with SJ and drank beer. Browning is the one who works at the casting house that I'm going to take improv from hopefully soon. He is ridiculously nice. And he was apparently going on at SJ about how great I am. I like when that happens. I want to get in with the comedy scene. Get RIGHT in there. Like my penis in your vagina.

.

I'm having troubles getting things done and being a responsible and productive member of society. I'm good at avoiding things.
I realised just how many things I want to do/plan on doing. It's an incredible amount of work, and I'm not even getting started properly. UGH!

priorities:

Acting
this is more up to agent, but still

MCDA
we are planning to start up in earnest. Hopefully? Well I bought us matching shirts anyway... It's an intense project though. Dancing? Singing? Lyricising?

Photography:




I need to just keep and keep and keep at it. and take my camera with me everywheres

Poetry
I need to submit more, get feedback more, edit more, sit down and write properly

TV series
The still un-named, ever-in-production, beast weighs me down. I think about it constantly and do no work on it. I'm getting too old to play highschool, so what's the point, etc? But I can't let it go

Major Babes
This is a great idea for a film. If I would just sit the fuck down and write it...

Sketch
We're supposed to start meeting... theoretically. organising people is very hard. making myself do anything productive is harder still.

Ice Cream short
I want to make a short film set in Big Chill. I will not get around to doing it before the end of the season. that's sad.

Fringe
I've been saying I want a play in the Fringe for at least a billion years. I should probably actually get on that. Especially if I'm planning to write it...

Producing plays
Planning to put up the two that I wanted to do just before I moved here.

FUCKING HELL. I have such, such good ideas and absolutely no follow-through.

TOO MUCH PARTY ALL THE TIME.

I'm making spaghetti and I'm going to bake it with cheese!